Menarche & Menopause: Why Are We Still So Unprepared?

Menarche & Menopause: Why Are We Still So Unprepared?

Let’s talk about something we all experience but rarely celebrate: the transitions that shape our journey through womanhood. Menarche—the first period—and menopause—defined as the point when a woman has gone a full year without a period—are not just biological events but invitations into deeper wisdom. Yet, instead of being prepared, supported, and uplifted through these transitions, too many of us are left feeling confused, alone, or even ashamed. Why? Because we live in a world that was largely designed without the female experience in mind. But here’s the thing: this isn’t just a women’s issue. It’s a human issue.

The Shared Threads of Menarche and Menopause

Despite their differences, menarche and menopause have striking similarities. Both require us to adapt to a shifting sense of self, both demand that we listen to our bodies in new ways, and both are often experienced in isolation due to a lack of education and open conversation. In my clinic, I see firsthand how unprepared many women and girls feel for these transitions—not just in terms of physical symptoms but also in understanding what their bodies are asking of them.

And no wonder we’re confused—medical, health, and scientific research is only just starting (and has a long way to go) to recognise that female bodies are not just smaller versions of male bodies. We now know that our bodies process medications differently, that our brains develop uniquely, and that our health experiences need to be understood on their own terms.

Yet, so often, these transitions are treated as medical conditions to manage rather than natural processes to understand and support. Menarche is met with secrecy, menopause with silence. The impact? Many women feel disconnected from their own health, uncertain about how to advocate for themselves, and dismissed when they seek answers.

The Barriers to Self-Care: Why It's Not Always That Simple

We hear a lot about self-care these days—things like yoga, journaling, deep breathing, and taking time for ourselves. And sure, those things can be great. But let’s be real—self-care isn’t just about adding things to a to-do list. It’s about recognising and addressing the deeper barriers that stop us from truly caring for ourselves.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs tells us that before we can reach self-actualisation—the place where we can truly embrace our wisdom, purpose, and personal growth—we need security, connection, and self-trust. But what if a woman doesn’t feel safe in her own body? What if she’s spent years prioritising everyone else’s needs over her own? What if societal expectations have conditioned her to ignore her body’s signals in favour of keeping the peace or being ‘easy to get along with’?

This isn’t just about willpower or discipline. It’s about unlearning the messages that have told us our needs come second. It’s about recognising that true self-care isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. And it’s about creating a world where women don’t feel guilty for resting, where their health concerns are taken seriously, and where they are encouraged to listen to their bodies rather than silence them.

Reclaiming Our Power: A New Way Forward

What if we changed the way we talk about these life stages? What if we taught young girls that their first period isn’t something to hide, but a sign of their body’s intelligence? What if we celebrated menopause as a transformation into a new, powerful phase of life, rather than something to fear?

It starts with education—not just for women, but for everyone. It starts with conversations—between mothers and daughters, between friends, between partners. And it starts with dismantling the shame that has kept these topics hidden in the shadows for too long.

Let’s Do This Together

This isn’t about blaming or rejecting the structures we’ve inherited—it’s about evolving them. It’s about supporting one another, educating our daughters, sisters, and friends, and including our brothers and sons in the dialogue. Menarche and menopause aren’t just biological events; they are invitations to step into new versions of ourselves. It’s time we honoured them as such.

So let’s start talking. Let’s share our stories, demand better education, and above all, embrace these milestones for what they truly are—powerful, transformative, and deeply human.